This time last year I had just started showing. I was so happy to finally be able to “see” my little baby growing by seeing myself grow. He’s six months old now and growing so fast. (99th percentile for height, he’s huge).
If you remember I gained somewhere around 55+ pounds during my pregnancy. While weight is a large part of why women often feel unattractive after giving birth it’s not the only thing. I currently weigh 10 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant. I’ve weighed this much before, but I don’t plan on staying here. Most of my clothes fit the way they’re supposed to, and my “weightloss goal” is whatever number matches up with my favorite pair of shorts fitting comfortably again.
I’ve always been a confident person, comfortable in my own skin. Motherhood brought on a slew of insecurities. Besides my weight, which was frustrating in the first couple months, there are other things that lower your self esteem in mommy hood. One of which being stretch marks.
Check it out, stretch marks. These bad boys are on my stomach, but I’ve also got nice ones on my hips and breasts. Nearly every woman gets stretch marks during pregnancy, and there is a genetic component (thanks mom). It took several months to get used to them but now I’m proud of my tiger stripes. I created a human, these are my stripes, my war badges, lightening bolts of honor. Plus, I get to do what my mom always did, “you see these? I carried you for 9 months, got fat, went through the worst pain imaginable, gave birth to you and you can’t unload the dishwasher?” Guilt tripping ammunition, forever.
Another thing they don’t really tell you? Whether you’re breastfeeding or exclusively pumping, your boobs will be droopier when you wean. You can’t expect those massive boobies that expand so they can make the liquid gold your baby needs to bounce back to exactly how they were. My boobs nearly tripled in size, that much rapid expansion caused stretch marks. Not to mention milk filled boobs are heavy, and heavy boobs droop. So, now, I’m all done with the breastfeeding and my boobs are a little saggier than before. *shrug* That’s what bras are for.
Stretch marks, saggy boobs, a couple weeks of rapid hair loss, hemorrhoids, chubby thighs, poochy tummy. All that madness, I’d do it again. I probably will do it again. I wouldn’t trade any of it. I accept it all as my awesome set of battle scars. This is my awesome mom bod. This body is so much stronger than the one I had at 20.
I would do it all again, the sleepless nights, pain, the getting fat, all of it. Because, I mean, look at this face, nothing’s better than seeing this face every morning.